Captain Cruise
Greg Berzinsky.
Captain Cruise
Greetings and compelling sea migrations, meet Captain Cruise, though the tag on the back of his underwear says Greg Berzinsky.
He’s our ascot-wearing, smooth-as-private-collection-scotch, bespokesman and guide to the treasure trove of finely curated river cruises at crui.se.
If you want to blitzkrieged on cheap margarita mix with unending views of empty ocean, the Royal Caribbean Carbon Footprint Of The Sea might be for you.
But for classy, elevated cruising, it’s all about that sweet sliver of river.
Greg Berzinsky.
Captain Cruise sailed down the Euphrates and back. But on the return, they renamed it His-phrates.
He’s twirled a Mademoiselle on the Moselle.
He won Most Debonair on the Danube
Captain Cruise was a captain before water was invented
Tide charts look Captain Cruise up.
Captain Cruise once found a message in a bottle but still hasn’t had time to read it.
Captain Cruise doesn’t disembark the ship, the ship disembarks Captain Cruise.
Captain Cruise sailed around the world in 80 days, in 4 hours.
And if you think that impossible, Captain Cruise didn’t do his Maths homework, his maths homework did… actually he was busy cruising.
Let’s Hear from the Captain
Fifteen men on the dead man’s chest—
Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
Drink and the devil had done for the rest—
Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
Meet Captain Cruise
He’ll tell you which full-bodied red pairs best with squab or which river cruise is perfect for nature lovers on their anniversary.
Bedtime Story
Once upon a time there was a great sea captain named Captain Cruise who was running late to a frolic at a Count’s chateau. Now go to sleep.